- Things You Think Only You Do

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

k. everyone

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.