Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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I cant ride a bike

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.