- Things You Think Only You Do

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

Stab myself on a daily basis

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

Tear up when I poop

You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.