Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Smoking in the shower.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.