test how many stares you can scale in one step

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.