I hit the frig after sex

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.