We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -49

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

thumb_up thumb_down -91

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.