When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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fap

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Only use the left earphone.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.