When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.