Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.