i masturbate with my feet

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.