Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

thumb_up thumb_down -9

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

thumb_up thumb_down -11

i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

thumb_up thumb_down -13

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.