browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.