I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -104

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -110

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I think about other women when having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I hold my breath in elevators

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.