pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i always think people can hear my thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I never feel bored

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

humiliating little girls

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.