Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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I was the real Stig...

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.