I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.