- Things You Think Only You Do

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

I mean Diana Ross.

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.