try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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k. everyone

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Being fat

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.