Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.