Believing in the kindness of strangers

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.