I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.