Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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i masturbate with my feet

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.