Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.