I never feel bored

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.