play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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make south park refferences every day

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.