(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Run faster down hotel corridors.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

thumb_up thumb_down

thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.