Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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blink

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.