like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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I hold my breath in elevators

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Sitting down in the shower

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.