make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

humiliating little girls

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

I cant ride a bike

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

call someone by a siblings name.

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

Poo really loud

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.