Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Be a loner at school

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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I cant ride a bike

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.