Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.