Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I was not born in the country I am living in now

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

thumb_up thumb_down -79

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down -91

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

thumb_up thumb_down +28

When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

thumb_up thumb_down +16

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

thumb_up thumb_down

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.