I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Picking my nose.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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I was the real Stig...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.