While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.