I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Poo really loud

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.