Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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blink

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Think about breathing...

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.