Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

not be afraid of hurricane sandy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Try stick to something but fail in the end

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sometimes I toot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.