Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Be a loner at school

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.