When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

I **** with no hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -110

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

i always think people can hear my thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.