I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.