Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Pee in the shower

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.