When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Watch the same movies over and over

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.