When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.