When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.