always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.