Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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Boinked my neighbor

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.