Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.