Your mom

Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

Giving my dog a massage.

When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

Take baths

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.