worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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Your mom

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

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When a song comes on that i hate on the radio, i sing along with it because i know the lyrics. (Example: something by Justtin bieber D:)

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Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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laziness .... its all in the mind

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.