When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

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Your mom

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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jack off

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.