When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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When I have nothing do do in Life Science I read the textbook.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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Running round the house like I'm Lara croft or someone from a video game :D it's fun

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

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I've had a problem all my life with people thinking I'm a boy, (I'm a girl) so when I first meet someone, my instinct is to find some reason, (however stupid) to say that I'm a girl, (EX: "Can you believe that people actually think I'm a boy?" like when I just meet them).

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Pee in the shower.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.