Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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okay,So we bought a 1000 piece puzzle and made a point to put it together when it was done we found that it was missing a piece so we went back to the same store bought the same puzzle and went through it until we found the missing piece then returned it.

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.