Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

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Like a toy until it breaks.

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Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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draw the sun at the corner of the page

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.