When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

thumb_up thumb_down -148

When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I ejaculate fire and glory

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

thumb_up thumb_down

You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

thumb_up thumb_down +61

When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

thumb_up thumb_down -12

avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.