When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe when showering

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.