Dancing while hoovering

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Playing TV in bed because if I don't I jump at every noise in the house and don't sleep.

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I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

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I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

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When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

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Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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RAPE CHILDREN

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

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avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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fart

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

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Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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My hands are always so cold and clamy at school, when I go on dates, and when im with friends. But, of course, when im at home, they.are.normal. :l

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Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.