Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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I piss in the bed every night

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.