Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.