Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.