sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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fap

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.