Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Being fat

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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only read the short jokes on this website

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make south park refferences every day

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Be a loner at school

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.