When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

I wonder if elections are rigged?

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

the power to regenerate your appendix

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.