When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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i masturbate with my feet

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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listen to madonnas new album

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.